Another year has circled the sun to bring us to this day. The day where we get to celebrate the mothers, expectant mothers and independent parents.

As you would have noticed from our first entry “Bring back the sparkle” we refer to the term independent parent as oppose to single Mum or Dad. This is strictly because there are so many facets of situations out there we felt compelled to address them in this way.

Becoming a parent has been the most rewarding but yet challenging experience we have ever had to face. We are strong capable independent women, but we can tell you one thing. We did not know how hard this role as a parent would be. We aren’t going to sugar coat the tricky times we have had along the way but we are damn sure that these humans we have created have by far been the greatest thing that has happened to us. They have shaped us in a way we would never have dreamed of, they have enabled us to learn about ourselves as we navigate the journey of being a parent, they test us in everyway possible that sometimes sees us hiding in the wardrobe with a bottle of wine in hand, they bring truth and don’t hold back on what they see and feel; something you tend to lose as you grow, they show us the true essence of feeling free and alive, they make us laugh until our stomachs are aching and smile until our mouths are hurting but most importantly they have shown us that true love comes from a place deep within the heart.

We have witnessed a trend amongst many parents when it comes to social media and how they portray their lives. The collection of happy, partying, smiling, photo shopped images of them and their family. But yet they are missing the REAL. You can’t tell us that everyone has that life………we call BULLS**T to that!!

What is it that people are afraid of?

Are we scared to show what our real life entails and the judgement we would get?

Do we think we are the only ones going through a hard time and struggling with the day to day life of parenting or life in general for that matter?

Or is it because there is so much hatred, suffering and hurt going on around us in this ever increasing damaged world that we feel we need to pretend to have a life that is shaped in this way.

The worrying aspect about what this trend brings about is that our children are growing up believing in order to be successful you have to have that flawless beauty, happiness 24/7, the millions of followers, All of which aren’t REAL to the average human and aren’t REAL to the ‘famous’ who spend thousands on their appearance and social media accounts to look the way they do.

Can you actually imagine if our lives were all sunshine and lollipops, where everything was honky dory and nothing ever went wrong.

Lets be serious now, how amazing would that be!!!!. To have nothing ever go wrong, always have a happy home, and everything had its place. What springs to mind for us, is how mundane life would actually be; without any drama, chaos and challenges to contend with. Secondly and what probably scares us the most is the lack of learnings that would occur. The ‘hard’ times are where the true spark of development and growth occurs. It is here where your emotional, spiritual, physical and psychological states are exposed and tested, which highlights how you react and deal with any given situation. We have experienced many of these true spark moments and our reaction isn’t always what we would see as the best option but we are lucky enough that we have developed a tool belt that we have been able to pull from when needed.

Some of you may be wondering what tools we are referring to, no these aren’t the hammer and spanner sets in our garage (believe it or not we do have these sets too) but its the ‘mental tool belt’ we are referring to. The beauty about this belt is that its yours to adjust and readjust when needed. For us, ours consists of

• Be kind to yourself
• Breathe
• You can only control your behaviour
• You have a choice
• You have a voice
• Don’t sweat the small stuff
• Listen

As independent parents we have had to grab from our tool belt on many occasions. Sometimes its more of a clasp as we try to navigate this journey for our children in our home. Being able to adjust to a changing world and allowing our children to express themselves freely during this process has been instrumental in how we have been able to move forward as an authentic family unit on this journey. Its been challenging to say the least but the reward is seeing our children thrive in an environment that is unfamiliar and full of many changes that have come from us as open, trusting, loving, honest and raw parents.

So now’s the time to step up and make some changes for yourself and your children.

From us to you

Happy Independent Parents Day

L&S