Do you know who you really are?

If your answer is no to this question then we will let you in on a secret. You aren’t alone. Everyone questions this very thing. Who are you and what is your purpose?

For both of us, it wasn’t until our lives seemed to be tumbling down around us that we really understood the detail this question entailed. Previously we both thought who we were, was dictated by what we did for a job, hobbies/sports, our friends, and how many children we had. This was an incredibly superficial perception. It is so much bigger than that. The depth in which we have explored this question is like chipping away at each level in order to understand why we think, do, and perceive things through our lens. To be truly dedicated to this process you have to be willing to be met with a great deal of pain and confusion, questioning the why in every aspect, in order to navigate the journey to find your authentic self. Simon Sinek, states: “Things that matter are difficult. If we want to do things that matter, it’s going to take effort.” And this is why it is important to know that when becoming your authentic self it is a continuous process, not a short stint in time where you have “worked on yourself”.  This is a constant narrative we have heard around us over the years, where people assume that because they have worked on themselves for a moment in time, this is enough. But they don’t understand the core essence of who they are.

What can you do to get there?

Firstly, it’s important to be in a place where your mind is willing to go to the uncomfortable, and then the real journey begins. Acknowledging the current situation, rejecting the notion of blame, and taking responsibility for how you respond in overcoming your current narrative is imperative for feeling like you are in control of your own well-being. Thus in turn creates the ripple effect of growth. Even the slightest adjustment in how you perceive things will have a significant impact on your mental fitness. You may not be able to control everything but you can control how you respond.

Secondly, this is about you!!!!!

Taking control of your inner thoughts isn’t always best served on a platter. It takes effort and consistency. The idea of writing in a journal for some may feel overwhelming, so it may be as simple as a walk or run along the beach to clear your mind from all the noise. This is about navigating and implementing the tool of critical self-reflection in whichever way resonates with who you are. This could be writing in a journal, going for a walk or run, meditation, and sports. It doesn’t matter what way resonates for you, it has to fit for you and the person you are.

Lastly, surround yourself with people who lift you up, who are going to support you in your darkest days and craziest of thoughts. This can be from a number of sources, family, friends, psychologists, friends with benefits, teammates… the list is never-ending. We’ve experienced the uncomfortable, we say uncomfortable because there’s a stigma around psychologists and what it means for people but also our thoughts around someone else knowing our shit and what we thought we could do on our own but in fact was quite the opposite. Our decision to seek support from psychologists was hugely significant. We have found it to be nothing but beneficial in how we see ourselves and others, and this has enabled us to thrive in situations that we would have normally shied away from. Giving us the courage to step away from interactions that are toxic and damaging and a step into a newfound confidence of managing situations such as these.

For us, we have had a 20 year friendship that has seen us go through various life experiences at different times. Although we’ve travelled along different paths throughout to get us to the place we are at now, it has been through the non judgmental support, understanding, empathy, gratitude and sometimes that odd bottle of wine together when shit gets real that has seen us become completely raw in finding ourselves on this journey of ‘who we really are’. We are damn sure if we hadn’t implemented the strategies we’ve learnt along the way we wouldn’t be the people sitting here today.

We challenge you to seek out the answers to the question “Who are you?” and find the person that hides within.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”. (Aristotle)

L&S